Marriage , Regret , Divorce and Promises
(A touchy Article Jago News came across , sorry to miss the name of writer , but really an impressive articles)
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you… She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce… I raised the topic calmly.
She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chop sticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company…
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce.
She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that everyday for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was going crazy… Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Dew about my wife’s divorce conditions… She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully…
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time… I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, “all my dresses have grown bigger…” I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death does apart.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The sales girl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I ran up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead……. I cried and cried uncontrollably and carried her for the last time from the room to the hall with tears streaming down my face and gazing at my only son, his tears rolling from his eyes, they made me cry even more. I had lost my love, my wife and a loving and caring mother and nothing I could do now to put the clock backward… I had all the time now to look at her motionless body in detail but I knew it was going to be only for a short while until she made her last journey to the Lord….. I held my son and wept again and again thinking of all the things I did not do for her when she was still alive……. & placed gently the flowers in her hands with my tears trickling on them……. she was gone forever, all my tears would not bring her back .
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you. If you do, you might just save a marriage.
To those who are married… Not married… and soon to be married
THE TIME IS ALWAYS RIGHT TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT
Moral of the story is to value all the things we possess, once they are gone we have nothing but regrets!
Karachi Young beggar girls indulged in immoral activities: A Wake-UP Call
KARACHI – Beggar girls are found almost at every traffic signal and market places in the City, but what is not usual this time is the apathy and not noticed the presence of young and adolescent girls, and some of these beggar girls make themselves available.
They are part of a larger crowd of beggars belonging to every age. Of late, their numbers have been on the rise, and they do not look conspicuous in the larger crowd.
The Centre of Excellence for Women Studies, University of Karachi, has conducted interviews with beggar girls at the 17 locations of the metropolis, where they are visible in large numbers including Gulshan-e-Iqbal, Clifton, Landhi, Malir, Saddar, Liaquatabad, Gulistan-e-Johar, FB Area, Sharah-e-Faisal, Mehmoodabad, Jail Chowrangi, Bahadurabad, Tower, Garden, and Cantt Station. The statistics told that 78 per cent of the beggar girls were 12 to 15 years of age, and the next group was 9 to 11 years old while only 9 per cent said they were around 6 to 8 years old.
The largest number of beggar girls, 52 per cent identified cities and districts of Sindh as their places of origin, and the largest group of 21 per cent claimed locations in Punjab from where their families migrated to Karachi. Bangladeshi girls were 9 per cent and 7 per cent from NWFP.
About 52per cent beggar girls said they were Muslims, and those who claimed to be Hindu were 45 per cent while 3 per cent said they were Christians.
About 34 per cent beggar girls said they had been migrated to Karachi and residing here for the last 6 years.
The mother tongue of the largest group of the beggar girls interviewed was Sindhi 51 per cent, while Urdu 2 per cent, Bengali 10 per cent, Seraiki 12 per cent, Pashto 8 per cent, Punjabi 8 per cent, and Balochi 8 per cent.
Majority of the 84 per cent of beggar girls belonged to nuclear families and the other 16 per cent belonged to joint families. When asked how they started begging as a mean of livelihood, 57 per cent said it were their parents and 10 per cent said that their grandfather started it.
The 17 per cent of the beggar girls said they had physical relationship experience while 15 per cent of admitted it was by their consent, 2 per cent said they went for it on the pretext of getting work. Another 3 per cent disclosed that they were forced, two of them were insulted by their relatives and one said her father sends her forcefully to customers.
Now, this is really a wake-up call for us. Pakistan an Islamic Republic is actually turning out to be addicted land of Alcohol and Sex. We must be serious in this matter , what is happening around us and we are having our eyes close.
West Boyfriend/Girlfriend Culture Encouraged by Telecom Companies
Telecommunication companies are reaping super profits. There is such a huge market for them, that they will be the last businesses to wrap up in the Pakistan, if anything bad happens. They are sticking here in all the earthquakes, floods and other law and order situations, because there are such a huge margin of revenue at very little cost.
They spend a handsome amount of money on their advertisements. Every telco has got its brand ambassoder and some style of ads but Ufone is at the top. The most famous advertisement is from them. Then comes the Mobilink and then Warid and then Zong, when it comes to the ad competition.
The one thing which is common in all of them is that they show young Pakistani girls in jeans and boys in strange clothes talking late at night for long hours. They show that now boys can have many girl friends in Pakistan and they can talk with them without any restrain and the call rates are so slow. These night packages for youth is just the proof of that. They broadcast that girls are getting dotty upon the boys with their SIMS and they are offering thousands of the sahelis through mobile phones.
There should be some ethical code for the advertisements of these telcos.
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